The Dirty Thirties…

Mes chéries, it’s my 31st birthday today! I can’t believe I’ve left you hanging for over two years now. I hope you didn’t miss me too much ;)… Let’s catch up a bit before I share my secret little goal list for the new year and decade!

Every year, I try to celebrate my birthday with as many people as I can because my mother made a big hoopla about my birthday as a kid. I’m not someone who puts too much emphasis on her birthday, but I do often feel pressure to throw a party or do something big to mark time and see my friends. As I get older, I’m starting to shy away from celebrations not because I dislike aging, but because I value peace and quiet tremendously more.

Funnily, I dreamt about being 30 for most of my childhood. Twenties to me were the time to be messy and experiment – which I did fully and arguably also not enough – but they were also a massive headache  I always felt like I was born in the wrong time period or matured a little too quickly than my peers. It made me yearn for the days where everyone is stable in life (for the most part), secure in themselves, and emotionally mature which I equated to 30s-40s. Oddly, I chose to quietly run away to Puerto Rico with my boyfriend to celebrate the big 30 last year. In an even weirder twist of events, I had a streak of bad luck throughout the entire trip from sun poisoning and second degree burns (I still have scars) to nearly drowning in a waterfall. It didn’t help that 2025 was the Year of the Snake. The whole year was filled with quite a lot of shedding: leaving a job that didn’t suit me, cutting off people who did not have my or my boyfriend’s best interests, ditching my pushover tendencies, fixing bad habits, trying to tackle my PCOS and weight gain from it, cleaning out my closet and bad iMessage/screenshots in my camera rolls, adjusting my lifelong goals and dreams, and resetting expectations for myself and those in my life all around.

Not many people know this, but my boyfriend and I went through quite a challenging time period end of 2024 and all of 2025. We both moved into a wonderful new apartment just for it to flood and ruin half our belongings. We then both had to leave our jobs because our companies relocated our roles. While I was fortunate to find something quickly, a good role took some time to make its way to him. Along with the financial stress, there were quite a number of conflicts with friends, family members, and both of our health. It wasn’t easy, but looking back it was incredibly necessary as it created unbreakable bonds between us and pushed us both towards newer paths together.

I made a vow to myself last week that I would fully leave the noise behind in year 30. Thirty-one is about rebuilding and reinventing. For the first time in my life, I feel grounded and secure as if everything is spiritually aligned (if you know this story, you know… hehe). I’m no longer running around caring about everyone’s feelings but mine. I no longer feel like I have to be everyone’s mom or play God to keep the peace. I quite literally took the “That’s above my pay grade” mentality from work and applied it to my life all-around. The more boundaries and rules I set, the more I started seeing people’s true colors emerge in my family, friend groups, and at work. Naturally, that meant I lost a few faces that I thought would be lifelong friends (or at least make it to my wedding day), but God and the universe simply were creating room for better suited people to enter my life. Most importantly, I felt like I earned a different level of respect from everyone around me, because I was respecting myself and my feelings first for the first time ever. If that makes me a villain in someone’s story, so be it.

Speaking of villains, you must all be wondering what’s on the docket for my 31st birthday… Today will be filled with zen. My boyfriend and I are getting a 90 minute massage, some delicious sushi takeout, and a lot of couch time with my new Pokopia game and cuddles! Tomorrow is a fancy date night surprise – stay tuned on Instagram to see where he takes me. Saturday, I’ll be making my own perfume with my best friend Jenny during the day. Then at night, I am hosting my favorite birthday party yet: a villain themed murder mystery game (essentially a big game of mafia)! Each guest chose their favorite villain from Marvel, DC, Disney, Nintendo, Harry Potter or major movies. I wrote objectives for each person to complete throughout (mostly to cause chaos and shroud the murderers) and created minor storylines. I’m sad that a huge chunk of my girl friends are no longer in NYC this year, but so excited to continue fostering friendships with those who are still here and celebrating me!

As a fresh new thirty-one year old, I am solely looking ahead. I’m naturally nostalgic, but it’s time to stop harping on the hardships life has handed to me and start looking at growing the blessings I have. I’ve put together a list of things I wish to see short term and long term through my 30s. I hope my sharing it inspires you to make a list yourself and discover a new opportunity yourself!

SHORT TERM GOALS

1. MORE discipline.
   • Get back into a daily routine: 6am wake up and work out, 10pm bedtime, select days for creating/editing
   • Stick to a bi-weekly upload schedule for the podcast and YouTube
   • Not fall off skincare routine just because I’m tired that night
   • Not let my ADHD ruin my time management
2. Find peace with being midsize and potentially not having kids – my health is priority
3. Rotate through my wardrobe more and make fun choices again – fashion should be FUN, clothes fit YOU not the other way around
4. Read more
5. See my family more often
6. Attend to my investment portfolio more
7. Hone my volleyball and golf skills
8. Spend Saturdays outside exploring neighborhoods again which means no more late Friday nights
9. Let them. Just let them.

LONG TERM GOALS

1. Start my event planning business (we all know that this is what I was meant to do!)
2. Director promotion within the next 2 years
3. Travel more (especially now that bachelorettes and wedding trips are slowing down)
4. Let go of ideations I held onto just for the sake of nostalgia or popular thought
5. Invest in real estate when the timing is right
6. Learning that it’s ok to change my mind about what I want
7. Learning that fertility does NOT define a woman
8. Stop pressuring myself to take care of everything and everyone (let’s be honest, this will take a little longer even if I’ve made massive strides)

Well there you have it! Here’s to a new decade full of bigger promises and opportunities. I know the previous was scattered and inconsistent, but I hope you’ll stick around to see what’s coming next as I believe it will be better than anything yet!

Until next time, bisou bisou…