BLOGMAS DAY 9: How I Deal With Stress

BLOGMAS DAY 9: How I Deal With Stress

Welcome back to day 9 of #12DaysOfBlogmas, mes chéries! I’m aiming to get this one up at a reasonable time during the actual blogmas day. Let’s see… did I succeed, kind of at least? 😆 Continuing on the “How To” trend that has kicked off in the last few blgomas posts, today we’re going to talk about finding a way to relax, recenter ourselves, and reflect within.

I don’t know about you, mes chéries, but Tuesdays are often the worst for me. They’re so far away from the weekend and riddled with Monday’s leftover BS. I always feel exhausted and drained by the time I get home from work. Sometimes, there are so many non-work related things clouding my mind too that I often even have a headache!

Mental health and keeping your spirits up is just as important as staying physically healthy. These past few months, I realized that lighting candles, sipping tea, putting on face masks, and wrapping myself in a fuzzy robe or slippers can only do so much. There are times when life hands you a lot at once. Before detoxing or pampering yourself, you have to get to the core of what is stressing you out before you can truly find a way to unwind and relax.


Everyone has days where they feel like they have no time to complete their to-do list. Whenever this happens, I always turn off all my devices, sit down at a desk, open my planner, and start scheduling when to do the things on my list. At first, it may stress you out even more because you don’t know where to start. However, I found that by scheduling to complete my hardest or biggest task first, everything eventually falls into place on my calendar.

Having an agenda helps you stay organized and visualize your time. While I love using my phone calendar and Google calendar, it really helps you remember each item as you write it. After you’re done, you instantly feel a breath of relief because you have a plan in place to tackle all your tasks.


Haha, like my blurred out journal page? Gotta keep my secrets my secrets ;)!

As great as our friends and family are for rant sessions, sometimes you have things on your mind that you don’t want to share with someone. Other times you want to share with someone but don’t want to risk fueling the fire because people may have opinions that will fuel your fire.

Whenever this happens, I pull out my leatherbound journal (no, your journal doesn’t have to be leatherbound) and ink pen and start scribbling away. I know people tell you to journal all the time, so this may sounds cliché. But instead of seeing it as “Hey I’m going to sit down and write about my feelings,” take your pen to the paper and start letting every thought you have flow out.

Don’t stop to think. Don’t stop to filter. Literally let it word vomit out in run-on sentences until you’re done. Then close the journal and don’t look back at it.

This helps you release everything you pent up. While it’s great to eventually read it and reflect, the goal of journaling in this scenario is for you to create a safe outlet rather than a place to reflect and overthink.


Turn off your computer and put your phone on silent or Do Not Disturb mode. I know it’s tempting to argue and let someone know when they’re pissing you off, but there are some times where you need to just give them silence and not be bothered with all the extra noise. Instead, do something fun, watch TV, immerse yourself in another world (like reading a book! I picked up this “Blind Date” with a book from Barnes & Noble), or do anything else you’d like to do that isn’t talking to them or dealing with the BS they are throwing at you. Reading about fake problems in a fake world sometimes gives you perspectives about yours!

After all, it’s much easier to clear up an argument when you’re calm, civil, and have a better perspective on things.


I have two ways I reflect. The first one is for when I’m just in the mood to explore my own thoughts. I have a book called The 52 Lists Project which is filled with 52 prompts (one for each week) to make lists about. For example, one list is “List all the places you want to travel to” and another is “List all your favorite memories.” I feel like making lists helps you organize thoughts, which inevitably helps you stay calmer, and making lists about things that are reflective help you learn a lot about yourself in the process!

The second way I like to reflect, which is unique to me and does not necessarily apply to everyone, is using tarot cards. I know a lot of people associate tarot cards with psychics and fortune telling, but that’s not true. Tarot cards are more of a spiritual tool, a way for you to do reflective story telling about your own life and your own journey. My deck is the Golden Threat Tarot Deck which comes with a companion app that helps you read spreads and learn the meaning of cards. Obviously, not every reading is exactly 100% relatable or accurate. However, most of my readings for myself and friends/family who ask for one have been scarily insightful or accurate, at least more than any of us expected.

I’m not going to get into the entire shabang about tarot cards here, but essentially spreads or readings really force you to think about a question you about some aspect of your life. The cards you receive make you evaluate the situation you’re questioning and really reflect on your path here or your path from here. Even if a reading isn’t 100% relatable, it’s still something fun for you to help process!

A third option you can explore is yoga or meditation. Personally, I rarely do either, but I have found that every once a while they truly bring me zen!


Whatever you do, don’t suppress it or avoid it. Let it all out. Try to avoid substances or alcohol, although I totally understand needing a sip of wine to help jump start the tears or anger, because you’ll become dependent on it to help you feel or release or worse, cope. Instead, see it as the faster all this is released from your shoulders, the faster you’ll feel better and be able to move forward and tackle your problems.

Cry if you need to. Mope if you need to. Be angry if you need to. And when all is released and you’ve come to terms and accepted whatever is happening/has happened, you’ll naturally want to move forward from the negativity and focus on something you can actually control or change: the future.


I hope these tips help you relax, unwind, and reflect! I know I’m about to light a candle, put on a face mask, and head to my journal. There’s been a lot on my mind lately that I need to just let out. Thank you again for tuning into blogmas! I’ll see you back for day 10 tomorrow. Until then, bisou bisou…







Erica Huang
Erica Huang

Based in New York City, Erica Huang is the creator and voice behind Bouge & Rouge. This blog is a playground of her thoughts where she invites you to join her on her journey through her 20s. Erica shares her lifestyle, fashion and beauty tips, adventures, and personal thoughts with the goal of inspiring others to always persevere and be unapologetically yourself.

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